Does "black love" still exist? Depending on who you ask, the answer you get will vary. Some people say black love is alive and well. Others may say it died long ago in lieu of sex becoming a casual sport, derogatory song lyrics and the word "relationship" becoming a foreign term to many. Times have certainly changed. What happened to the storybook romances we all grew up reading and just knew we would get the chance to experience? What happened to "You'll find your husband/wife once you get to college?" Maybe it's just me, but that certainly has not been the case so far in my three years of higher education.
Allow me to take a moment to just be real with myself. As a young black woman, the odds do seem to be against me. Statistically speaking, of course, black women are more likely to be single. Black women are also the largest group of people that are remaining unmarried as the years go on. But why?! What is it about us that makes these facts true? Again, the answer to that question will vary depending on who is asked. Some people say black women are single by choice. Some say it's simply out of our hands … but which is true?
It is 2011, and now more than ever, we as black women are reaching new, extreme levels of independence. More of us are getting degrees, earning salaries that continue to grow and living out lifestyles that once seemed unimaginable to people of our gender, and especially race. So, why is it that we are the least likely to have someone accompany us along the way? Maybe we can give the media some of the blame for that. Think about it … when black women are displayed on television, how are we portrayed? More often than not, we are made to come off as loud, bitter females who don't want or deserve a good man. Often times on television, we are shown only with the "dope boys" or the "baby daddies," passing up the decent, hard-working intelligent black men who actually do want our time and attention. I myself wonder at times, is this really how people see us ... how people see me? If so, that could definitely have a little something to do with black women being more likely to be and stay single. Now, it also seems like we also have an increasing number of men from our own race that are turning to women of other races. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about people loving whoever they choose, but again I must ask, what about black love?!
Perhaps I'm being a bit too dramatic. There is still hope out there. I know many couples who have been together and withstood the test of time. There are even a few black celebrity couples who are still going strong. We have Omar and Keisha Epps, Denzel and Pauletta Washington, and of course Barack and Michelle Obama. I guess, on a somewhat comforting note, right now love for all races is struggling too. Just look at the Schwarzeneggers, Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez, Eva Longoria and Tony Parker, Kim Kardashian and Ray J … no, Reggie Bush … no, Miles Austin ... no … well, you get the point. Needless to say, I will not give up on black love. I do believe it still exists … even though it seems to be M.I.A. from time to time. I guess for now I'll just have to agree with Oprah Winfrey when she said, "Mr. Right's coming, but he's in Africa, and he's walking." We, as black people, are a beautiful people, and there is still hope. Yes, if you ask me, I wholeheartedly believe that black love does still exist and always will.
