When it comes to clichés, the phrase "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is probably in the top 10. There is so much focus on "staying strong" and the "light at the end of the tunnel." But the ironic thing is while people chant this quote like a mantra, they rarely live by it.
The other day, I watched an ABC News story about a 13-year-old girl whose father basically said getting his daughter a nose job is the equivalent to getting her braces. The girl sobbed for hours when classmates called her "big nose" at school and on Facebook, so her parents caved and allowed her to have a nose job. She had surgery, went to a new school and supposedly lived happily ever after.
I can't help but think the entire situation is extremely messed up. It is one thing to listen to constructive criticism, but it is entirely another to let bullying and immature comments affect you to the extent that you spend thousands of dollars on plastic surgery. If anything, I think the young girl's story is an example of how people allow the trials in their lives to weaken them.
I understand bullying can be a very serious issue, especially when the Internet is involved. But many people, myself included, have been bullied at some point in their life and grew a stronger sense of self because of it. Bullying can temporarily crush your morale and amplify your insecurities, but you cannot allow it to whittle you into nothing.
I honestly believe there is no such thing as a "quick fix" to a serious problem. If you try to take the easy way out or attempt to run away from your problems altogether, you are just putting off an inevitable blow. Problems have a way of catching up to you no matter how far away you run. The longer you try to push them away, the worse they become.
If there are people who think getting plastic surgery is the best way to avoid bullying, then I am concerned about how they will address trying times they will be forced to face head-on. There are many circumstances in life no amount of money or begging can improve.
As odd as it may sound, I think being bullied at a young age can actually prepare people for tragedies and hardships they will face later in life. The one positive thing about being bullied is you have the choice to stand up for yourself and take action to end the harassment. If you have the strength to rise above cruel people and become confident in who you are, then you will have the tools to face terrible situations you have no control over.
This is not to say that there is a simple formula to get through difficult times and all you have to do is plug in a few elements to get the solution. The hard times are just that — hard — and take every ounce of strength a person has to get through them.
Acknowledging a situation as difficult and accepting your emotions as sad or distressed are good ways to begin dealing with your problems. You should always allow yourself to be upset because attempting to push away emotions will only cause them to grow worse. But you should never allow your feelings to take away from who you are. They should motivate you to continue on with the knowledge that your life will eventually improve with time and patience.
It is important to recognize that while you cannot always change the situation you are in, you can change the attitude you approach it with. When you are faced with hardships, there will definitely be days where you are extremely upset and are not sure if you can go on, but that is completely normal. You just have to open up to the idea that you will ultimately make it through somehow.
There are certain situations people say they couldn't make it through or people they couldn't live without. But life inevitably puts us through trials we have to live with and takes away people we don't want to live without. Whether it is losing a loved one, losing a home to a natural disaster, getting into a life-changing accident, or something equally horrible, you somehow have to find the strength to carry on.
"Being strong" isn't something that happens instantly. It takes days, months or years of facing and dealing with your struggles to gain strength from them. It isn't easy, and it isn't simple. It's a complex, messy battle with yourself and your beliefs. But gaining wisdom out of your negative experiences is the most beneficial way to live.
The weakest people in life are the ones who consistently allow little problems to completely crush their spirits. I have seen people who have experienced a great amount of tragedy smile, but I have also seen people with charmed lives who scowl at every small issue that comes their way. I wonder how ungrateful people who make mountains out of molehills react when they are forced to go through a difficult situation.
If your life is generally pleasant, which I hope is the case, you can still grow stronger from the small trials in your everyday life. You could let a snide comment from someone ruin your day, allow tripping in front of everyone in D-Hall to scar you for life or think a D on your math test means you're doomed to fail in life. But, as my grandmother would say, you could also just get over it. If you learn to laugh off and learn from the small things that go wrong, you'll be better prepared for the real problems in life.
As Eric Matthews from everyone's favorite childhood TV show, "Boy Meets World," would say, "Life's tough — get a helmet!" Life isn't easy for anyone, so remember: what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger, but only if you allow it to.
