This week's episode of "Gossip Girl" starts with Blair and her extensive wedding plans, more specifically about which of her minions should stand in "eternal glory" as one of her bridesmaids.
Dan's newest novel is helping make him one of the top sellers and biggest novelists around, bumping him to number eight on the charts. Chuck is finally asking for help and meeting with a shrink in an attempt to straighten out his recent drop off the deep end to try to feel again.
Blair asks Louis, her Prince of a fiancé, for one last piece of scheming before the wedding and he agrees to turn a blind eye and allow her one day of freedom. She gathers four of her friends to compete for their place as royal bridesmaid in the wedding. Her first challenge involves dressing a mannequin in a rush and running up stairs and across lawns in heels with glasses of champagne. In the end, it is narrowed down to two contestants, one of which is Charlie, Serena's cousin and The Spectator's (a gossip magazine) newest and dirtiest reporter.
In the last episode, Louis discovered the paternity test Blair had hidden away in her desk. Viewers still don't know who the father of her unborn child is, but it is apparent that Louis does. He contacts Chuck's therapist and pays her to ensure that Chuck and Blair never cross paths and that Chuck stays away from her for good. Does this mean the child is Chuck's?
The shrink asks Chuck about his relationship with Blair, pressing him to fly into a rage as he normally does, but instead Chuck stalks angrily to his safe, claiming that if he were still in love with Blair, he would have given her this —from the depths of the safe, he pulls out a beautiful diamond ring. With a broken face and shaking hands, Chuck shoves the ring into the shrink's hand, begging her to get rid of it for him.
Dan, Serena and Jane all meet to talk about his upcoming film. Jane starts pressing him to accept ridiculous ideas, eventually driving him up and out of the office when she suggests a "Glee" inspired musical theme.
Jane looks to Serena to go and talk him into giving up his rights to the film, which he happily agrees to when she gives him her word that she will maintain the movie's integrity and keep a close watch over its development. It is only after she has given Dan her word that she meets Jane at the launch party of The Spectator and discovers that she can't keep her word. Jane has decided to make the main character a spin-off of a boy who gives up friends and secrets for wealth and fame, the main character being a version of Dan. Serena realizes that she has been double crossed and is stuck in a terrible corner.
Blair congratulates her three remaining contestants, giving them one last test for that evening — to kiss Dan. Whoever completes the mission first will have exclusive rights to being her bridesmaid. Charlie especially wants the position, but not for sentimental reasons. Charlie is in it for the magazine. Will she sell all her friends and secrets for money? Looks like she just might.
Serena confides in Diana, the magazine's editor, about her predicament and she offers to have the movie killed off once and for all, hinting that she and Jane have a secret past. Moments later, Jane approaches Serena, confirming that the movie is dead and that she better be satisfied now because not only is Dan going to be infuriated, she's also fired. Dan finds Serena and is enraged and hurt, only realizing after Serena explains to him that she ruined her own life to save his movie and cancelled his movie to do right by him.
Chuck's shrink gives up her secret mission with Louis, explaining that she can't ruin a man's life for money, but Chuck catches the two in the park exchanging money back and forth and plots his own form of revenge.
In the end, Charlie gets her kiss from Dan, fooling him into asking her to the party that evening so he can make his "lady friend" jealous. But Charlie dipped her feet in a little too deep this time, only realizing afterwards that Dan's lady is her boss Diana. Meanwhile, Chuck takes center stage, announcing that his shrink is hypnotizing him into doing things and revealing at the same time that she and the prince have been selling information back and forth. Blair is angry and hurt by Louis's involvement.
Louis explains to Blair that he found the paternity test and that he only became involved with this scheme to try and make sure that she realized deep down that Chuck is the wrong choice. He explained that the fact that the test even existed seemed to hint that Blair is still looking at her options. Blair denies that, claiming that all she wants is him, but that he is turning into Chuck, a man who destroys everything. Everything takes a strange twist when Chuck stops by Blair's home to apologize for everything he's ever done, including never confessing his love for her and giving up on them when she never did. Blair stands awestruck in his sudden compassion and sincerity.
In the end, no one ends up where they want to be; Dan is off the charts the following week, Serena loses her job, Charlie is assured that she will never get Dan, and Chuck is floating on a flimsy raft of hope, leaving the diamond ring on Blair's doorstep to possibly be found.
Tune in next Monday at 8 p.m. on The CW for "Gossip Girl."
