Generally, I try to be as realistic as possible. When I go into a test, there are questions that I do know the answers to, and there are questions that I don't know the answers to. While some may chew on the nub of their pencil and try to eenie-meenie their way through the answers one by one, I know doing so won't change my luck. I know what I know; and I know that what I don't know, I do not know.
As I'm climbing up to a new decade in my life — the big 2-0 — feeling comfortable in my skin and understanding who I am has become much easier. Unfortunately, that includes knowing exactly what my failings tend to be.
Exhibit A: New Year's Resolutions.
Oprah Winfrey once said, "Cheers to a New Year, and another chance for us to get it right."
I say, "Cheers to a New Year, and another chance for us to believe we'll get it right."
Whether it be losing a few dress sizes, building a better credit score or becoming a
generally better person, New Year's is the perfect time of the year to lie to oneself. Now, I don't mean to tread upon others who believe in change or making goals or those who have actually succeeded in accomplishing their resolution.
What I am saying is that we have the opportunity to change ourselves every day. Why do it simply because of a number, because of 2012, 2013, 2014 and so on?
In a study conducted by Usa.gov, the nation's official web portal, a few of the most popular New Year's resolutions include "lose weight," "get a better job," "volunteer to help others" and many others along the same lines. Surprisingly, all of the resolutions on the list were goals that are capable of being set and accomplished any day of the year.
Additionally, according to statistics compiled by Proactive Change, more than half of people who make New Year's resolutions break them halfway into the year.
But what causes New Year's resolutions to be so difficult? If we can do them any day of the year, set them any day of the year and accomplish them any day of the year, why not the first of January?
On the WebMD website, Lynne Brodie of Carnelian Coaching, says, "Resolutions are all about taking something away from someone … I think if people framed it differently and made it more of a positive experience, then it would be easier for people to keep resolutions, and psychologically it would make them feel a lot better about themselves."
Making a resolution is already a disappointing experience. You think about what you did last year, what you could have done, what you wanted to and what you didn't. Why not appreciate your year, and find a way to appreciate this new one through finding a way to better yourself — not because you're bad, but because you want to be the best you can be? Tell yourself, "I deserve this," instead of, "I won't be good until I accomplish this, and if I don't accomplish this, there's no use in trying."
PsychologyToday states, "We don't make an effort to change because of negative emotions that we are experiencing, such as fear, anger, sadness or frustration. For example, many people don't change out of the fear of failure. They might think, ‘If I can't change, then I'll prove myself to be even more of a loser than I am now.'"
The reason why New Year's resolutions fail is because we focus so much on what we're not. This year, know who you are and live that, and if you want to change, change because you deserve it, not because you're not good enough. Know what you know, and know that what you don't know, you don't know — and know that you can change that. You don't need a new year to make you better. You have today.
