I know it’s pretty late news for me to be talking about New Year’s, but I think the resolutions we keep from there stay with us long enough for me to be irrelevant, if only for a moment.
Last year, when I wrote about resolutions, I didn’t hold back my opinion that the resolutions we resolve to keep tend to be difficult promises we shackle ourselves with and eventually have to fail. A resolution too often develops into a downward spiral of not doing something because of the guilt of not doing something, which only makes it harder to start doing that something at all. That something, of course, is whatever personal goal or resolution we hope to keep.
Let me back up. What exactly is a resolution? Every year, people all over the world create resolutions like To-Do lists. It’s not hard to make a resolution. All you have to do is ask yourself the questions you might not want to ask yourself every day: Who are you? What would make a better you? What is wrong? What can be fixed?
What we wish we could see in the mirror tends to be the driving force to what will be the resolution. But what is a resolution? A resolution is a commitment. And a commitment is a promise. Promises shouldn’t be hard to keep. They really shouldn’t, but when that promise is with yourself ... Well, the mantra “I am my biggest enemy” has never rung more true. Resolutions typically are along the lines of budgeting better, being more adventurous, losing “x” amount of weight, and so on and so forth. Resolutions tend to be vague in how they will be accomplished yet incredibly emotionally laden.
The vagueness makes us feel a little safer because it feels like wiggle room. However, even a health trainer will tell you that you can’t be too vague about your goals. Think about this: When you go to the gym, there is a system. There is the number of reps and the number of sets you do. There is the number of times you want to go around the track and the number of miles you want to run that day. There is the number of minutes or hours you want to stay at the gym. And there is the number of minutes you need to cool down and stretch.
In a way, there is wiggle room with your workout routine because there has to be. You get stronger, or you get used to a work out, and then it needs to be changed for muscle confusion and for you to then get even stronger, healthier and happier.
I will be honest to admit that I’m not the best when going to the gym, and I can only blame myself for that. When I enter the gym, I think, “I want to be healthier,” which isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, but once I get on that treadmill or once I get on that track, “healthier” is not the thing that will keep me running. If anything, it will be what will make it harder for me to come back the next time. How many laps will get me to be healthier? How many miles?
Vague commitments don’t work because the forgiveness that comes with breaking commitments is slim, especially when it’s yourself you have to forgive, and vague commitments don’t work because when your commitment is not specific or measurable, it only makes it harder on yourself.
This is a whole new semester. This is a whole new year. That means new chances. That means new goals. Set goals. Don’t set commitments. Don’t promise yourself something because that’s not what the point of a goal is. The point is not only the what of that end goal, it is the why.
Make your goals specific. Make them attainable. Do you already have your New Year’s resolution? Think about the why to that resolution. You say it will make you happier? Why? And focus on how it will help you or help others. Then focus on the specifics of how you can do it, so that you know you can do it. Lastly, don’t be so afraid to break a commitment or a promise. Don’t be afraid to start a goal. A resolution is not a jail sentence. It is a journey. Goals are good. They lead us somewhere. They force us to challenge ourselves to be better than who we are.
For now, take out that piece of paper, hold that pencil in your hand and write it down: how do I want to better myself? And then answer it.
*** This editorial is an opinion stated by the writer and does not represent the views of The Rotunda or Longwood University.
