Are you already starting to get sick of seeing Ken Cuccinelli and Terry McAuliffe attack each other through mud-slinging campaign ads? Are you having a hard time deciding which of them is the lesser of two evils? Does it really stress you out to think that one of these two men is going to be in charge of our fair Commonwealth?
Even as a senior political science major, I’m stressed out by the November election. I am not ashamed to admit that I do not like either of these candidates. So, what’s a voter to do?
There are a few answers here. The logical one is to do your research, make an informed decision and vote for one of these two men or their Libertarian challenger, Robert Sarvis.
Or, technically, you could just forget about it all and not vote, but that would be a bad and unpatriotic choice.
And then, there’s another choice. What if I said that we could elect a candidate who would never lie to us, wouldn’t take bribes and wouldn’t ever attempt to curtail any of the rights that you hold dear? Let’s elect someone’s pet as governor of Virginia.
My dog Diamond would be a great choice. She was born and raised in Virginia, she’s incredibly loyal and she’s never had any dealings with oil companies or major banks. She’s the ultimate Washington outsider.
I know it might sound crazy, but it wouldn’t be the first time that an animal has run for a political position. It wouldn’t even be the first time that an animal won a political position.
Animals, and even inanimate objects, have a long history of earning spots on the ballot. Donkeys, cats, dachshunds and even a fichus tree have all taken their shot at political grandeur, some with more success than others a recent mayoral race in Xalapa, Mexico, a cat named Morris received over half of write-in votes after running a lengthy campaign. “El Candigato Morris” (for those of you who don’t speak Spanish, the word for candidate is “candidato” and the word for cat is “gato,” so really this is very clever), as he is known in his native country, has amassed Facebook fans and supporters from all over the world.
Morris received an endorsement from Mayor Stubbs, of Talkeetna, Alaska, a tailless tabby cat who has been the official mayor of his town for the past 16 years.
Here in Virginia, some of you may remember another "catidate," Hank the Cat, who ran for senate against Tim Kaine and George Allen last year. He got 7,000 votes.
It shouldn’t seem so unusual that people are so quick to put animals on the ballot when there are tough choices to be made.
Some may say that writing in an animal candidate is a mockery of democracy or even cite these examples of animal politicians as an argument against democracy.
Now, It could be argued that unless politics is always taken seriously, our government becomes less legitimate.
However, I see no harm in the practice. If the people want to be governed by a chinchilla, let them. It’s a testament to their desire for a small government.
Besides, most winning animals have only held ceremonial positions, meaning that there is never going to be a cat in charge of evacuating a town during a natural disaster or a dog in charge of waste removal.
This practice is truly more than just a recurring practical joke. While it may seem silly to have a dog as a candidate, campaigns like this can bring attention to the real issues, such as government corruption or a serious disconnect between politicians and their electorate. It’s a form of activism.
Whether you’ve got a desire to elect a politically inclined feline, or you would just like to talk about the human candidates in this year’s gubernatorial election, the Political Science Club would love to hear your thoughts. Join us for good fun and healthy political debates every Friday at 4:00 p.m. in Ruffner 256!
