The brothers of Fappa Fappa Fappa (FFF) are sad to inform you that our brother Tucker Lance passed away suddenly on September 12 from complications of being too on fleek. Lance leaves behind 37 beloved fraternity brothers, his girlfriend Margret Stace, and his side girl Vanessa Besto. FFF would like to invite all those who loved and knew Lance to his funeral this Saturday, September 19. Those who wish to attend the funeral should know that the event is (of course) BYOB, unless you are a female, in which case, alcohol is provided. The ceremony is open to FFF members at 9 p.m., and then open to the public at midnight. Please be prepared to identify which brother you know.
P.S. No fatties.
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