If you type the word “millennial” into Google, you will likely pull up hundreds of articles written by older generations about why our generation is “ignorant,” whatever that means. Over the years, every generation slams on the generation that comes after it. It’s basically a tradition. I’m here to set the record straight. They’re right, but for the wrong reasons.
Lack of imagination is… cool? A lot of people use the word “basic” in a condescending way to describe people who all dress and act the same. Yet, people still do these things, and it’s cool to do it. I don’t know about you guys, but I love it when I walk in the room and I’m wearing the same outfit as literally everyone else, especially after I spent $130 for my boots. And carbs are gross. I hate it when my body uses them for energy to function properly. It’s so Ew.
In the past few years, it’s gotten increasingly more popular to be immersed in the world of technology in one’s free time rather than read a book or pick up a hobby. Guys, socializing is not a hobby. It’s just not. However, spending hours on end with your eyes glued to a screen while watching other people live fake lives is totally a hobby. I’m doing it right now. It’s great. Also, stamps are cool. I swear.
Did you know that ADHD affects millennials more than any other generation? It’s true. The internet says so. Pandas.
The biggest mystery with millennials is the strange disappearance of the phrase “bless you.” It’s not because we’re rude simpletons. It’s because we’re too distracted by our new-fangled Facebook-machines and the millions of thoughts swarming around in our heads to notice when someone violently ejects small drops of snot from their nose.
We’re the future, and the future is dark. It’s hard to go a day without reading about some human caused catastrophe happening in Belgijapastan. But never fear! According to Forbes magazine, four in five millennials are optimistic for the future. So even if the world comes crashing around us, we’ll still have ramen and our parents’ couches to look forward to, and everything will be Ok.
There’s no reason to worry. At the end of the day, the next generation will definitely be worse, and then we’ll look like the wiser elders, and everyone will forget about how much our generation bothered them. And even if they don’t, we can just post angsty tweets about it until the end of time.
If you type the word “millennial” into Google, you will likely pull up hundreds of articles written by older generations about why our generation is “ignorant,” whatever that means. Over the years, every generation slams on the generation that comes after it. It’s basically a tradition. I’m here to set the record straight. They’re right, but for the wrong reasons.
Lack of imagination is… cool? A lot of people use the word “basic” in a condescending way to describe people who all dress and act the same. Yet, people still do these things, and it’s cool to do it. I don’t know about you guys, but I love it when I walk in the room and I’m wearing the same outfit as literally everyone else, especially after I spent $130 for my boots. And carbs are gross. I hate it when my body uses them for energy to function properly. It’s so Ew.
In the past few years, it’s gotten increasingly more popular to be immersed in the world of technology in one’s free time rather than read a book or pick up a hobby. Guys, socializing is not a hobby. It’s just not. However, spending hours on end with your eyes glued to a screen while watching other people live fake lives is totally a hobby. I’m doing it right now. It’s great. Also, stamps are cool. I swear.
Did you know that ADHD affects millennials more than any other generation? It’s true. The internet says so. Pandas.
The biggest mystery with millennials is the strange disappearance of the phrase “bless you.” It’s not because we’re rude simpletons. It’s because we’re too distracted by our new-fangled Facebook-machines and the millions of thoughts swarming around in our heads to notice when someone violently ejects small drops of snot from their nose.
We’re the future, and the future is dark. It’s hard to go a day without reading about some human caused catastrophe happening in Belgijapastan. But never fear! According to Forbes magazine, four in five millennials are optimistic for the future. So even if the world comes crashing around us, we’ll still have ramen and our parents’ couches to look forward to, and everything will be Ok.
There’s no reason to worry. At the end of the day, the next generation will definitely be worse, and then we’ll look like the wiser elders, and everyone will forget about how much our generation bothered them. And even if they don’t, we can just post angsty tweets about it until the end of time.
