Dear America,
Greetings from your thirty-seventh president, Richard Nixon. During the last Dead Presidents’ Society meeting, Washington mentioned writing a letter to you from all of us. Unfortunately, he became incredibly focused and “forgot” to put the rest of our opinions in. To make sure my thoughts were addressed, I decided to write to you myself.
As I am sure many of you are aware, I am a very controlled, calm man. I served as vice president under President Dwight D. Eisenhower. I was used to the White House and what running the country entailed by the time I became president of the United States. I served almost two full terms as president myself. Believe me when I tell you Donald Trump knows what needs to be done. I was in full support of President Reagan’s Immigration Reform and Control Act. Illegal immigrants are the real problem in America today. Back in the 1970’s, the unemployment rates were increasing more and more as new illegal immigrants flooded our economy and took jobs from Americans. The same thing is happening now.
Fear not, for there is an answer. DEPORTATION. Now I know what all of you are thinking, “There are so many illegal immigrants in the country. How could we deport them all?” Well, my friends, you probably can’t. But the least you could do is try. Perhaps you could stop the influx of illegal immigrants so they don’t steal more jobs. Or, I don’t know, maybe actually obey the law and stop hiring illegal immigrants! That is what the Immigration Reform and Control Act is supposed to do, among other things.
I don’t want you to misunderstand me though, Reagan and I have different views on immigrants. Where he wants to welcome them with “open doors,” I say let Trump build that wall. The Immigration Reform and Control Act was also meant to increase border patrol along the U.S. and Mexican border by 50 percent. This is a far too mild approach. What America needs is a wall to reinforce the border. Illegal immigrants put a wearisome burden on America’s welfare system, a system meant to be helping citizens of America. Not only do these illegal immigrants steal our jobs, they steal American ideals such as liberty and justice.
I can see only one outcome if this continues: complete destruction from the inside out. Political corruption will be around every corner. The government will shut down. Trains will stop moving, planes cease to fly. America as we know it will be over with the invasion of these illegal foreigners.
The time has come, America, to accept what needs to be done. Donald Trump must become president of the United States. A wall must be built, no… the wall must be built. I tell you these things as a respected former president of the United States.
Farewell,
Richard Nixon
