It’s been quite a week hasn't it? What with Trump’s disturbingly misogynistic remarks and lackluster debate performance, the man in the red sweater, Drake and Rihanna splitting, midterms beginning, the VP debate ending, and a slew of other craziness, surely we have our choice of topics to choose from here at the Rotunion. That's why this week, we have decided to devote our section to the most divisive question of the moment, to the issue that has consumed the collective conscious, to the most pressing issue of our time. Is Harry Potter better than Luke Skywalker?
Before we commence with the arguing, let me answer the question that I'm sure is burning in your mind. “Why?” Well because it’s been a long week, I'm tired, and I'm running out of ways to make fun of politics. Deal with it.
Now that that’s out of the way and I've wasted about all the space I possibly can, let's get down to business shall we?
So, Harry and Luke, Luke and Harry, who would win? Well Potter, Obviously. Here’s why.
Firstly, Harry has an english accent, and as we know, EVERYTHING IS BETTER IN AN ENGLISH ACCENT. EVERYTHING. He also has glasses, which gives him an intelligence bonus of approximately a buhjillion. And speaking of intelligence, it is certainly no secret which is the smarter of the two parties. Harry is going to the most prestigious wizarding school in the world to hone his powers and perfect his craft, while being mentored by an extremely wise and respected wizard. Luke however is learning what he knows from a wrinkly avocado with a speech impediment. Hands down, Harry wins on intelligence.
Harry also has a better supporting cast behind him, no question. Harry’s friends are funny, smart, and bring valuable talents to the table. One of Luke’s friends is a robot who can’t even speak. C’mon, everyone loves R2-D2 but we all know he’s rather useless, while Hermione is basically a walking wizard wiki and Ron has a flying car. A FLYING CAR PEOPLE. Speaking of Harry and Luke’s friends. Let’s not forget that Mr. Potter winds up with the beautiful Ginny Weasly, while the only romance Luke gets is from his sister. I really hope I don’t need to explain who wins this round.
Now, finally, let’s get to the meat of the argument. Who of the two is most powerful, who would win in a head on head fight. Allow me to put it to you simply, people don’t call Harry the Boy Who Lived because he makes a habit of losing. The dude kicked Voldemort’s noseless ass AS A FREAKING BABY. AN INFANT. Do you know what you were doing as a baby? Shitting your pants and crying. Yeah, Harry is a badass and he has the scar to prove it. And like any true badass, Harry doesn’t run away from a fight. He runs toward the battle, at the risk of death or even worse, expulsion. When it was time for Luke to step up and take on his asthmatic father, he didn’t want to do it! Not only that, but when he did finally get around to fighting Vader, HE LOST HIS ARM. Guess who hasn’t lost an arm and also managed to defeat his arch enemy. Yeah, Harry (and almost every other half decent hero ever.)
At the end of the day, Harry’s natural magic prowess, higher education, and better friends trumps Luke’s lack of expertise at using the force, dark tendencies, and stupid bowl cut.
