Adaptations can run the gamut of quality. Most films take liberties with adaptions and rarely is a movie a perfect copy of a book, comic or video game. Occasionally though, a movie comes out that truly defies any and all expectations of the source material. 2003’s “The Cat in the Hat” is one of those films.
Universal and Dreamworks created an adaptation of the classic children’s book with Mike Myers starring as the eponymous cat. Bo Welsh, production designer of films such as “Edward Scissorhands,” “The Color Purple” and “Thor” directed the film, his directorial debut, from a script from three writers behind a handful of Seinfeld episodes and “Eurotrip.”
Things initially seem to be in the right hands, as even the studio logos are in the Cat’s trademark deep blue, red and white. The production design is excellent, as the town and visual effects look like they were lifted directly from the book’s illustrations.
However, less than five minutes in and problems arise. The children’s (Sally and Conrad) mother works at a real estate firm and her boss, who is a severe germaphobe, entrusts her with hosting a meet and greet party at her spotless house. This adds a major conflict to keep the house clean, something that was not in the original book, but is unnecessary. The charm of the original book came from the fact that the conflict was just about the basic instinct to obey one’s parents.
Sally and Conrad are acted poorly, plain and simple. Portrayed by Dakota Fanning and Breslin Spencer, respectively, no effort goes into making them likable from either the actors or writers. Spencer is so awful and bland, that even the popular “Stinker’s Bad Movie Awards” introduced an award for poor performing child actors called “The Spencer Breslin Award.”
This is a film being pulled in three different directions and none of them succeed. The writer’s feel like they are trying to make a satirical take on the Hollywood children’s film. Scenes featuring making children sign literal contracts before they can have fun and referencing the pop songs make it feel like a satire.
It would have succeeded more as a satire, if it wasn’t for the obscene amounts of overly adult humor shoved into it. The director himself, in an interview, even stated that he was surprised that the film even received a PG rating.
Mike Myers, more so than the uneven script and flashy but superficial direction, is the films biggest problem. He feels like a shaken up can of soda or a garden hose running wild. No one ever reigns him in. His annoying laugh after every line manages to make his performance even more annoying and aggravating. Chewing scenery like it’s his primary source of fiber, Myers runs rampant like the Cat himself, except no one ever tells him to reign it, ever!
Numerous other issues, like the poor CGI, acting on the Fish and the surprisingly abundant amounts of adult humor make the movie just unappealing. “The Cat in the Hat” is a poorly executed film in every sense of the word. While some enjoyment can be gained from viewing it as a ‘so bad it’s good’ treat, the overall contrast between the high visual quality and the low effort from the creative team makes this just a painful viewing experience. This cat need to be put down! 1/5
